Most of us east of Greenwich Mean Time were asleep when MTV rolled out the red carpet in Hollywood on Sunday/Monday for the 2011 MTV Movie Awards. After seeing some of the things that went down the red carpet, I was almost put back to sleep with sheer boredom and in other cases simply appalled. Let’s start with the good, work our way through the terrible, and leave ourselves with a glimmer of hope.
You’re Marchesen me crazy, Emma Watson. In a cream silk Notte mini-dress dress by Marchesa and Brian Atwood heels, Watson was stunning…even without a wand. The dress was elegant, clean, and understated. There is, however one tiny thing. All of those photographers had power zoom cameras. My eyes went right for the bunched fabric at the hemline; clearly it was not coutured correctly.
For anything else and anyone else, I think that it would not have worked, but Kristen Stewart did rock that red Balmain safety-pin dress. The tiny little piece of black fabric poking out on the left really killed me inside, but other than that, I was pleased that she successfully judged the mood of the event, because so many missed the mark.
A quick word on the guys:
Nice shades, Bieber.
Xavier Samuel, you are a man after my own heart. The suit was a modern take on elegance and class.
Boots may be made for walking, Taylor Lautner, but not down the red carpet when they look like they have just been attacked by the pack of wolves you hang out with in Twilight.
Jessica Szohr and Nicki Minaj…all I can say is “What in the Hell?” Szohr was trying to be fun in a jumpsuit from Alice + Olivia, but it was no fun for those of us who had to look at it. Minaj was balancing a gilded wedge between two melons in a basket.
I believe that in an alternate universe when you mix different floral patterns, the world explodes. Thankfully for Elle Fanning, we live to protest paralleled patterns another day. I love that Dolce and Gabbana floral print, but the mini-Dakota ruined it with non-matching floral platform wedges; a floral fiasco.
Amanda Bynes, who are you? You are so sexy and gorgeous, and one of the only 90’s TV girls who hasn’t turned into a total harlot. She came close this time, however; with terrible Change of the Guard fringe heels from Christian Louboutin she looked stripper-esque. The Herve Leger bandage dress was nice, but also fell short…literally.
I know I said that black is back…but I did NOT say it should be back to front, bottom to top. Cameron “give me an Ambien, I’m asleep” Diaz still looks hot in almost anything…but boring is her new name-o. The black Phillip Lim jumpsuit was cute, but then it was over-killed with matching black Lanvin shoes and a black belt.
At second place for boring is Hailee Steinfeld, AKA: the world’s youngest 40-year-old. A pants-suit? I do not care if it is Louis Vuitton; it is the MTV Movie Awards, not a Hillary Clinton look-alike contest. And to top it off matching red lipstick, finger and toe-nail polish. The only saving grace of the ensemble was the Ellie Patrick black and teal striped clutch.
Bryce. Dallas. Howard. I know that I am supposed to go easy on you because you are preggers and because you are a lucky “triple-initial” like me, but I simply cannot and live with myself. That pink and cream Phyllis silk-chiffon maxi dress from J. Crew may have looked good in an editorial shoot and on Net-A-Porter’s website, but on you it looked like you were wearing homage to your gaping womb. We know you’re pregnant and finding red carpet maternity clothes may be a challenge, don’t use the outside to remind us what is on the inside.
Thankfully, there was a breath of fresh air. I enjoyed the crocheted lace and knit Catherine Malandrino dress with nude underlay that Katie Cassidy wore. I thought that the dress was really cool and that it fit rather well.
Although I expected Chanel, I was also pleased with Blake Lively looking lively, colour blocking in Michael Kors and Christian Louboutin.
Stone cold fox Emma Stone stole the red carpet. The sheer Bottega Veneta dress was one of the only perfectly styled garments from head to toe on the red carpet. A matching Bottega Veneta clutch and Casadei pumps finished it off flawlessly. Stone took the MTV Movie Award for “Best Comedic Performance” for Easy A and she wins my easy A award for best dressed. Emma, please help the others…