Cannes, or Cannes NOT?

The Cannes International Film Festival rolled out the red carpet for the 64th year on Tuesday.  Following the Chanel Cruise Collection on Monday, the Hollywood and the fashion elite were there to start the event in style.   In some cases, however, the aspirations went awry.

Let’s start with Karl Lagerfeld’s muses Rachel Bilson and Blake Lively. They have the ENTIRE Chanel closet at their disposal, and they choose the most boring skimpy looks that they can find…or rather cannot find; where are their shorts?   I don’t care that it is hot and that they are in the South of France, this was their chance to couture it up!  My shout out goes to Clemence Posey for wearing the yellow tweed dress from the Chanel Spring/Summer 2011 collection.  Thanks for not looking like an idiot.

Rachel Bilson wearing Chanel (

Clemence Poesy and Blake Lively in Chanel (

The Kaiser himself looked good in his summer attire.  I loved the silver gloves, star tie-tac, and white tie.  Nice one Karl.

Karl Lagerfeld (

Former Chanel muse Ines de la Fressange had the most confusing dress of all.  The Grecian inspired Carven dress was half-draped half-not, half-skirt half-gown; the only thing that was certain about the ensemble is that it was a catastrophe.  Clearly the Greek god’s did not smile upon her fashion sense.

Ines de la Fressange from Carven (

Rachel McAdams’s Marchesa dress looked like it was made of the red stuff that the aliens left behind in War of the Worlds.  Additionally; that much cleavage and Woody Allen do NOT go together.  McAdams did redeem herself with the Maxime Simoens white summer dress that she wore to the Midnight in Paris photocall.  The Salvatore Ferragamo shoes were a nice pairing but a bit boring.

Rachel McAdams in Marchesa (with boyfriend Michael Sheen) and Woody Allen (

Rachel McAdams in a Maxime Simoens (

Equally boring was Angelina Jolie, also in Salvatore Ferragamo.  It was a real snooze, LITERALLY from head to toe.  At least, thank God, her hair has returned back from its terrible state in The Tourist.

Angelina Jolie in Salvatore Ferragamo (

One of my Hollywood Favourites is Uma Thurman, and I loved her Louis Vuitton that she wore to the Jury Member Assembly.  I was not as enthralled by her white thigh-high slit strapless Versace dress with feather train.  The dress is ok, but close up it looks cheap and did not flatter her chest at all.  Love the turquoise earrings, though.

Uma Thurman in Louis Vuitton (

Uma Thurman in Versace (

Salma Hayek at the Puss in Boots photocall looked like a leather scarlet oak tree…in October…on fire.  Why Salma?  Why?  Is this homage to the Latin spiciness that you bring to the screen?  Trust me; you do not have to look like a hot tamale to be hot…

Salma Hayek in Gucci (

Gaga, I expected more from you.  It wasn’t the leather and lingerie that got me down, but that the queen of pop ruined her lovely hair, colouring it like a skunk.  I love and WANT the Diane Von Fürstenberg sunglasses, though.

Lady Gaga in leather and DVF Sunglasses (

Elodie Bouchez in YSL: I am asleep with boredom.

Elodie Bouchez in YSL (

No one is quite sure from which designer Mélanie Laurent got her dress, but my speculation is that it was born out of a paper shredder.  Totally tacky tailoring at best.

Mélanie Laurent (

THANK GOD for Karolina Kurkova and Giorgio Armani Privé, two masterpieces who rarely go wrong.  FABULOUS dress.  Can she restore our hope in this red carpet’s fashion?  Yes she Cannes!

Karolina Kurkova in a Giorgio Armani Privé (

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